A while back, you might remember my article on Being Black isn’t Beautiful? Well as we know, not only the modeling industry perpetrates this awful stigma, but many cultures still stay hung and tied into a line of lies. Now an article link was shared on the Facebook fan page by blog reader Robbin. And I have to say thank you for bringing this to my attention.
History
I remember meeting many ladies from the Dominican Republic (D.R.) and you get the idea that, while they call you friend, your hair and skin isn’t exactly acceptable. Whilst they neighbor Haiti a predominantly black culture, the people of the D.R. in it’s majority are still honing over being acceptable in life.
I was reading the article, and it said in essence that most Dominicans believe “to look pretty is to look less black”. Now obviously this doesn’t speak for everyone, but to know that so many of them will down right ignore their black roots because they feel black is ugly, it’s really saddening. No wonder they are best at hair-straightening techniques. The stigma is that no one wants “barrio-looking hair, because straight hair is elegant”.
In that light, I want to add here, I have another friend. Also born in the D.R. who looks black! You would never guess she was born and raised in the D.R. by looking at her, because to most she looks just black and nothing else, that is of-course until she opens her mouth to speak and you hear her lovely accent. She has so called “barrio” hair, and to me, it’s absolutely Beautiful!! And I love that she embraces her natural hair, kinks, curls and coils and all! And even more that she is darker than the usual D.R. person we see flaunted on tv. I now realize the stigma, pain and culture association she has to deal with. And honestly it’s just disheartening.
It’s really sad and yet eye opening, but I want for you to do two things. Go ahead and read the Original Article called “Black Denial”, then leave your thoughts below on this issue. Am I the only one who thinks this is highly messed up and so sad??
By the way, I want to add, the people of the Dominican Republic ARE NOT the only ones with this issue. This goes on right here in America, in our very own black neighborhoods for that matter, it happens in the Caribbean, it happens everywhere. So don’t go thinking oh it’s only them, how sad. Just wanted to clarify that!
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robbin melton
August 22, 2010
When I read this article, I had stumbled upon it while doing research for a possible work-related pleasure trip to the Dominican Republic. Upon reading this, the "pleasure" turned into something beyond displeasure and I lost my desire to go. I was planning on wearing my hair in twists throughout the duration of the trip. Words really can't describe how I feel…angry, sad, in disbelief…I love by brown skin, and am in love with my brown skin and I love my "barrio" hair. Even when I used to straighten it, I really only focused on my roots. I like to leave some texture in it. A few times, I'd thought about going to a Dominican salon for their famous blowout. In retrospect, I am grateful that my money never went toward continuing to propagate their beliefs about "barrio" hair.
Kspen
August 22, 2010
hmmm well I remember for me, growing up and always wanting to straighten my hair was a matter of just wanting a style so much that would be easy to maintain, and blow in the wind…It wasn't that I didn't want to be black, it was just the straight hairstyle I was after…
I remember realizing when i was younger that no one black has naturally straight or perfectly curly hair that flows down…i also realized from all my friends' horror stories that permed hair just wasn't healthy and had risks…
So I think for me, it was never a case of not wanting to be have "black" hair, but realizing what black hair was in all its character
Kspen
August 22, 2010
hmmm well I remember for me, growing up and always wanting to straighten my hair was a matter of just wanting a style so much that would be easy to maintain, and blow in the wind…It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be black, it was just the straight hairstyle I was after…
I remember realizing when i was younger that no one black has naturally straight or perfectly curly hair that flows down…i also realized from all my friends’ horror stories that permed hair just wasn’t healthy and had risks…
So I think for me, it was never a case of not wanting to be have “black” hair, but realizing what black hair was in all its character
Vonnie
August 22, 2010
to be a black latina is to really feel practically invisible I'd imagine. No one wants to act like you too can come from a hispanic country because you don't look like J.Lo and they have a major color bias going on.
But let's not act so sad for d.r. blacks when blacks right HERE in the US are extremely colorstruck themselves, not like we are enlightened or something! Always shouting about wanting a redbone, not wanting a "dark butt", weaving/flat-ironing/perming our hair til it falls out….yeah right, we have NO room to say "oh poor them" when nothing about our general black aesthetics here would say that black is beautiful either. Sure, there was a lot of NOISE about black being beautiful back in the day, but the societal evidence of blacks needing a self-esteem overhaul are overly evident. Crappy marriage rates, astronomical out of wedlock child bearing rate, horrible graduation rates particularly for black dudes (47% only graduate from hs, that's shameful), the elevation of light and bright mainly, not seeking out quality mates, multiple baby mamas/daddies ALL points to a collective self esteem being in the gutter and thinking we are on par with everyone else. NO ONE with high self worth would live like lots of black people live here. Depressing
Vonnie
August 22, 2010
to be a black latina is to really feel practically invisible I’d imagine. No one wants to act like you too can come from a hispanic country because you don’t look like J.Lo and they have a major color bias going on.
But let’s not act so sad for d.r. blacks when blacks right HERE in the US are extremely colorstruck themselves, not like we are enlightened or something! Always shouting about wanting a redbone, not wanting a “dark butt”, weaving/flat-ironing/perming our hair til it falls out….yeah right, we have NO room to say “oh poor them” when nothing about our general black aesthetics here would say that black is beautiful either. Sure, there was a lot of NOISE about black being beautiful back in the day, but the societal evidence of blacks needing a self-esteem overhaul are overly evident. Crappy marriage rates, astronomical out of wedlock child bearing rate, horrible graduation rates particularly for black dudes (47% only graduate from hs, that’s shameful), the elevation of light and bright mainly, not seeking out quality mates, multiple baby mamas/daddies ALL points to a collective self esteem being in the gutter and thinking we are on par with everyone else. NO ONE with high self worth would live like lots of black people live here. Depressing
Robbin Melton
August 22, 2010
I stumbled upon this article while researching a potential work-related pleasure trip to the Dominican Republic. I was planning on wearing my twists throughout the duration of the trip, but after reading this article, the idea of this trip turned into displeasure. I am in love with my brown skin and "barrio" hair. I wouldn't change it for the world. Even when I'd straighten my hair, I always left some texture in my hair. I didn't want it bone straight. A few times, I thought of going to a Dominican salon for one of their famous blowouts, but never did. I am glad my money did not go toward continuing to propagate their feelings about "barrio" hair. Words can not express how sad or angry I feel. It's deeper than anything I've ever felt. I wish their words to describe it.
Calligraphyunique
August 22, 2010
i know about this, i 'look' dominican i have been told, but am actually scottish/english/native american through and african.i was born in the US, my ancestors are both slaves and slave owners.. It is hard to accept yourself when everyone around you is telling u something is wrong with you. i have alot of afican ancestry but how i look is different and have been hated simply because of something i have no control. domincians have been brainwashed by imperial society which is jealous of ppl who are african. it is sad because God said everything He created was good. i hope one day we will move beyond this
Robbin Melton
August 22, 2010
That last sentence really resonated with me…I hear you, but if you can't accept the color of your skin, the texture of your hair…deny part of your ancestry…you're not living anyway, black or white. You are only a poor imitation of what you aspire to be. If you recheck national statistics, you have to put the numbers into perspective…the numbers are always skewed in favor of the majority (I was forced to do this as a reporter for 12 years). If blacks here are deemed to live in such squalid conditions compared to those in different countries, why come here at all? Most of the black people I know are middle and upper class, educated…The "statistics" you are referencing also aren't just relegated to the black community. It's the entire country and it's all socioeconomic classes. I was raised in a posh suburb in a Dutch Republican community…wives were beaten and raped, instances of domestic violence, prevalent substance abuse, teen pregnancies. Obviously, if you have the power and money, these issues are neatly tucked away from the public eye. Many people are naive and think just because you're educated, are affluent, etc., you don't suffer from the same issues as "those poor black people." That is SO untrue.
Robbin Melton
August 22, 2010
P.S. My former mother-in-law was from Honduras and she "looked" black, but educated/informed people realize that Hispanics/Latinos don't all look like J.Lo. For instance, most people are unaware that when it comes to hair, Asian Indians oil their hair everyday and that many Koreans have the same hair texture we do and often use/manufacture "black" hair care products.
Ronnie6676
August 22, 2010
I was engaged to a man who was dominican/puerto rican. He would tell me about his deceased dominican grandmother and how much she hated black people. How if she were alive she would not like me. I found that amazing cnsidering the bllack ancestors that she most assuredly had. And not only her but others in her family seemed to hang on the I'm latin thread. As if to be latin cancels out any african ancestry. I found the whole thing sad.
Ronnie6676
August 22, 2010
I was engaged to a man who was dominican/puerto rican. He would tell me about his deceased dominican grandmother and how much she hated black people. How if she were alive she would not like me. I found that amazing cnsidering the bllack ancestors that she most assuredly had. And not only her but others in her family seemed to hang on the I’m latin thread. As if to be latin cancels out any african ancestry. I found the whole thing sad.
Tay
August 22, 2010
This is so true.When one denies part of who they are you're not really alive. Additionally, I think those people are sad individuals this is why many television programs and majority of schools have the same effect on children. Nothing is taught. Most parents don't know or want to keep things hid.
Coppreloc
August 22, 2010
I'm amazed at how quickly and how deep the self-hatred in DR spread. Quickly, being relative of course, since it spread like wildfire without successful resistance. In my twenties, I'd hoped we got past the "bad hair" label. In my forties, I now see a need for a better, deeper campaign to fight this insanity. My father was from the Cayman Islands, and they have the same thing going on, except there are no native Indians from which to steal an identity. A friend from there once labeled it as "colonial hypocrisy". @Vonnie: thank you for illuminating the effects of low self-esteem on Black people. Well said. The elevation of light and bright is a false one. As a light-skinned Black woman, I've noticed that my own people project onto me from wherever they are internally. Meaning, first, they think I'm mixed automatically. I'm no more mixed than any other African-American – the mixture happened during slavery. If the person is from the Caribbean, they think I'm from their country (I look like my Dad, therefore, I look like I'm Caribbean). But it's in that subconscious, initial, unspoken moment, when I COULD be partially white, (more than most) that is the killer moment. That moment reveals a fantasy about to be broken. If the person has self-esteem issues related to race or just clings to the fantasy, then a friendship never develops. I just hope we get closer to being emotionally healthy in my lifetime.
Tay
August 22, 2010
Alarmingly 46% of African American women die without ever being married. The condition of the people don't change until they change themselves.
SweetThang
August 22, 2010
I agree, blacks right here in America have this mindset as well as in the D.R. I can't tell you how many times I hear black people right here say they are part irish or their great, great, great, great grandmother was an indian. They want to say they are anything but black.
This article just goes to show that white supremacy and imperialism has really done a job on the mindset of Africans throughout the diaspora. The physical shackles are gone but we are still slaves, mentally.
LadyExinor
August 22, 2010
many don't want to have a black association when it's apart of their heritage, because within our own community we spend so much time deciding who is black enough, natural enough, too natural, hair is too nappy, not nappy enough. we are still struggling to accept that as black women there is a broad spectrum and we have yet to be welcoming to that spectrum. many of us see being black as ourselves and when some else comes along with a variation of that blackness we are not welcoming to them, hence making it difficult for others to embrace their heritage.
morena
August 23, 2010
I am dominican. I assure you that this article is misleading. Not all dominicans are what this article describes. I just went to Dominican Republic with my big afro. I didnt get any hate or anyone putting down my natural curls. We have all types of hair and we all wear it differently just like in the U.S.A. Just because a few people found that have that kind of attitude about their nature, doesn't represent the entire country. I hope you get to make your trip and see for yourself that is not like the article describes it.
Augusta
July 9, 2011
The article does not say all Dominicans.
afroniquely
July 26, 2011
Hi Augusta, I hope you didn't misunderstand me, I am in no way saying all Dominicans have this view. Thanks for reading.
Anonymous
August 30, 2010
I am glad that you added that its not just in DR. Its in all countries that have had the history of Europeans and slavery as well as here in the US. I myself am Dominican, although raised in the states. I can honestly say that after going natural and visiting my country I always felt embraced (and maybe because I've always been different i.e. style, hair, etc) But I can proudly say I have been blessed to pave the way for others in my family who are now natural. In that same breath I do have to agree with the article. I love my people, but we live in a day and age where being natural should not be looked upon as revolutionary or even unprofessional. Many Dominicans tend not to identify with their African roots. And this is seen when it comes to our hair. I was raised with relaxers, roller sets, and blow outs so I know what it is to have "good hair." In the article they referred to bad hair as "barrio" hair, which honestly I've never heard before. I have heard and continue to hear the term "pelo malo" which means bad hair. I can attest to it because when I went natural 11yrs ago, my mother did not speak to me for a week. In many countries hair is beauty so for me to do the bc and be natural was a double whammy. Although my mom has embraced my natural hair and hers there are others who will never feel OK with wearing their God given strands. It is sad but its more frustrating for me to have to sift through as if I were looking for a needle in a hay stack for another Dominican natural sister so that I can feel validated. But I've realized that I am my voice and if others see that I am comfortable in my own skin, then maybe they can be too. I am proud to say that most of my friends and family members are all natural. So we are the exception to the rule for those who don't think Dominicans embrace roots. I myself know that I'm a Black Dominican (i mean where else did my features come from :)) I just think its time that ALL of us were portrayed for others to see. Dominicans range from the whites white to the darkest dark. From the straightest hair to the curliest kink. We are a rainbow of colors. I love my country and my people. We all just need to keep being an example of acceptance.
Nepenthe
September 3, 2010
It's always sad to see situations like this, but I've definitely seen more than my fair share of it.
I feel that the love needs to start with love of self. It sounds so cliché, but there is no point talking about what others have to say until everything we have to say is positive. We need to be the change we want to see in others.
TIARAYVETTE
September 12, 2010
thts so sad i am a mahogany kissed young sister, i too have felt when i was younger both being lighter and havin straight or anything but black hair was beautiful. my mother as well as mysister are light skinned and they received all the compliments therefore i felt less pretty or not pretty at all. bt my grandma who helped raise me is just as chocolate as i am and she is beautiful. at the tender age of 18 i appreciate my roots so much more than ever and have gained so much self love and respect. black is indeed BEAUTIFUL
Anfarley
October 28, 2010
I will have to totally agree with this. My boyfriend is from the Dominican Republic. And his aunts response when she saw me was…"Wow you actually think shes prettier than your X? I mean shes so dark! And her hair isnt long or anything!!" I was like wow! That was many months ago when I had relaxed hair. I am currently growing out my perm and my Natural curls n coils are starting to shine through. I cant imagine what she thinks of me now! (not that I care in the least bit.) My boyfriend even grew up with this stigma that he wasnt attractive because he was darker skinned and had really curly thick hair. He grew up hearing that his hair was ugly and nappy. When he came to the States he got so many compliments from people on his hair he felt like it was a Dominican thing. Not to mention he loves my Natural hair! His hands are always in it! The US def has its stigmas too. In some instances I think we may be worse off. Especially black Males always looking for a "Red Bone" like anything darker is filthy and disgusting. All the colors of Black women are beautiful!! It will be so nice to see the day when we can finally embrace this…but I wont hold my breath…
Boriangel_101
March 10, 2011
I am fully hispanic (Puertorican) but I look black. I was raised with straight hair girls and I was teased every day until I came to America that I permed my hair ( I was 9). I was STILL teased because of my skin color for years. Now I'm in 11th grade and I finally said "ENOUGH" and started to research on natural hair. Right now I'm 3 months into my transition and everybody thinks I've gone out of my mind and have NO support but now…. I'm not gonna let ANYTHING stop me.
Boriangel_101
May 13, 2012
So now I've been natural for a year and 5 months and I have pushed through the struggles. I've ignored people, I've acted as if whatever bad they have to say about my hair just really doesn't matter. I'm happier than I've ever been and I wouldn't trade my natural hair for the creamie crack ^_^
afroniquely | shae
May 14, 2012
Keep pushing! Don't let it get you down. We are more than our hair, it's time for people to just understand that.
Bomi
July 28, 2011
It's a sad situation…
black is indeed beautiful – no doubt, and I love and appreciate the fact that I am black=)
I however wish we generally had more manageable hair – I don't care if it's straight, curly, or whatever lol…just wish it were a little bit softer. I've been meaning to ask you this – do you have any product recommendations for me? I have short curly (black:)) hair. I would love to keep the short look and I love my curly look, but I would really love to *not* have to use a texturizer like I currently do (would love to use natural products instead) – to make it soft and easier to manage. I currently texturize it periodically, and I use a hair gel. Any ideas:)? Thank you=). And thanks for your website:)!!